I recently had an experience where I engaged in a conversation when I should have just walked away.
Turning the other cheek in this situation would have been the best course of action. But rather than maintaining my normal calm composure, I went in for the kill. Proving my point. And making certain that my side was protected and legitimized. Worse…I did it via email. Ugh.
There’s no regret; I believe everything happens for a reason. After all it’s given me the opportunity to write for all of you.
And as the saying goes: Master Teacher, Master Student. It was a reminder of these three life lessons on how to keep cool when tensions are high:
- Wait 24 hours before responding. Magic happens during that 24 hour window. Go ahead and write that email, but don’t send it for 24 hours. When you’re in a place of calm go back and review the massage. 90% of the time it ends up in the trash.
- Put your hand on your heart and ask, “Is it my ego that wants to respond right now, or is my desire to react coming from the heart.” If it’s your ego, and it usually is, wait at least 24 hours to send an email or have that conversation. When you’re ready to engage make sure your words and energy are coming from your heart. Words from the heart don’t antagonize and provoke negative reactions from the other person. Words from the heart seek to understand, are curious about the other person’s view and approach the exchange in an emotionally mature way. As you can imagine heart-based responses get better results.
- Don’t do anything until you breathe and go for a walk–even if you have to excuse yourself from the room. This is for two reasons: to calm down, and to make sure the emotions you’re experiencing are actually yours. Remember your ModWoman Super Power. Empaths take on the emotions of others, and sometimes it gets us in trouble. During your walk bubble up, clear your energy, and then only re-engage once you’re calm and 100% certain your words are coming from the heart.